Beardapalooza 2008 - 2009: Week 11

Last week was a big week. We lost our first participant. The winners of the Beardies were announced. Super Bowl weekend. This week...well, this week, nothing much happened. As such, I thought this to be a good time to take you behind the scenes here at Beardapalooza.

5 QUESTIONS WITH JAMES' BEARD

Beardapalooza (BP): Many people are shocked at your rapid growth. What do you attribute this growth to?

James' Beard (JB): Well, right off the bat, I can tell you that it's mostly a product of giving 110%. You look at a beard like Paul's beard, and you can see that he's only giving about 38%. You just can't get away with that kind of thing in the long run. Also, I am 3/4 Hungarian.

BP: Ahhhh. That explains it. But this is an endurance contest, a test of wills, aren't you afraid that you're peaking too early?

JB: No. You can never peak too early. That's a common misconception. I believe that premise is based on that absurd children's story, The Tortoise and the Hare. It's absolute crap. There is no way a tortoise could beat a hare in a foot race. Not only is a tortoise slow, but they are notoriously unfocused. When I was younger I used to race hermit crabs - same problem. They just wander around the start line without a thought to finishing the race. Now if you want to see a real race, try a cougar and a hare.

BP: Umm. OK. You are long enough now to start catching food - any favorites?

JB: Oh, absolutely. I am enjoying a great many foods. In my younger days, I'd catch a stray crumb at best - not nearly enough to really develop an affinity for anything specific. But now, I can catch whole meals. Just the other day, while James was eating, I managed to snag an entire cheeseburger. It just fell out of his mouth and into mine. It was delicious. No, wait. It was succulent. It had such succulescence. It was divine.

BP: I am not sure that 'succulescence' is a word.

JB: It is. I assure you.

BP: Fair enough. On to the next question. Do you have any hobbies?

JB: I have a number of hobbies. Right at the top of the list would be stamp collecting. That's right, I am a full-on balls-to-the-wall philatelist. I just love 'em. Also, I am a semi-pro backgammon player. I guess you could say that I am a thrill seeker.

BP:Clearly, you are living on the edge. So, after Beardapalooza is over, what will you do with your time?

JB: Wow. I guess I hadn't given that much thought. I'd really like to travel. You know, see the world. I hear that there is an annual beard competition in Anchorage, Alaska. If this ends the way I expect it to, I'd really like to see if I have the chops to compete on the world stage. If that doesn't work out, I was thinking about maybe taking up ballet.

And now for this week's beard pics:

Paul




James