Beardapalooza 2008-2009: Week 7

As we wrap up week 7 of Beardapalooza, I think it is high time that we delve into the origins of the beard. What better way to do so than by celebrating the inventor of the beard - Raymond Josiah Abernathy Jr. ("RJ" to his close friends).

An early rendering of Raymond Josiah Abernathy, Jr. at age 12.

By all accounts, RJ was a fairly common child. Born in 1823 in the hills of West Virginia near a small coal-mining town, he never had any great aptitude nor any great ambitions. RJ was content to do what most Appalachians did - he collected teeth as they fell out of his head and carved them into banjo picks. The only thing that separated young RJ from his many cousin/siblings was his unbelievable hair growth. By age 12, owing to his full beard and generally scrawny physique, he was routinely making some extra money for his family by posing as Jesus for local crucifix manufacturers.

His modeling career brought some notoriety to young RJ and his time in the spotlight seemed to awaken parts of his mind heretofore untapped. His mind, so filled with ideas, kept him from sleeping, and by the time he reached his mid-20s, he was a full-time inventor and an incurable insomniac. He was able to eek out an existence as an inventor with several useful, if not particularly noteworthy, inventions. For example, he was quite proud of a small contraption that would actually move from room to room sweeping the floor (an early precursor to the Roomba); however, as most of the homes in the community had dirt floors, each of these devices would ultimately burn themselves out within a few hours.

It wasn't until 1868, at the age of 45, that RJ finally tied his two careers together and in so doing carved his name in the history books for generations to come. Although, as should be painfully obvious, it is fairly impossible for anyone to invent the beard in a traditional sense, his 20 years as a professional inventor had taught RJ one very important lesson: He who has the patent is the inventor of record.

Accordingly, on July 22, 1868, Raymond Josiah Abernathy, Jr. marched into the U.S. Patent Office in Washington, D.C. and filed what would be the most important document of his life - the patent for the beard.

And if you buy that story, I would like to sell you 1000 shares of stock in beards.

Now for the pictures:

Scott





Paul





James